Hi. My dad has had cancer off and on since 2004. But he always beat it. On 2/28 he called me (it was his bday - 68 years old) and said he got a scan and they found 2 tumors in his abdomen. He had sarcomas. Turned out they were in good places so he was scheduled for 3 rounds of chemo and then they were going to freeze the tumors to kill them and hopefully that would get rid of them. So after his second round he got some abdominal pain and threw up and my stepmom Kathy took him to the er. On the 18th of March. On Wednesday he was moved to the ICU by that night he needed a breathing tube and was sedated because he Couldn’t breathe on his own. On Thursday I was called and my mom was called because we Love out of state. We flew in and we sat in the hospital fri and sat. My sister had to work sat so it was my stepmom mom and me only on sat. They had him on dialysis and his blood sugar started getting messed up and he couldn’t maintain his blood pressure. He had an abdominal infection rare side effect of chemo and it had lead to sepsis. On Sunday morning at 5am my mom woke up my sis and me and said my stepmom called and he couldn’t keep up his blood pressure anymore. So we raced to the hospital. They put him on all the blood pressure meds. He was asleep. He had never woken up since I’d been there. They asked if we wanted to let the meds run out or stop them. My stepmom said she’d rather stop them so we stood around him and watched as his blood pressure slowly dropped. It took like 45 mins then his heart stopped. It was so traumatic. So now I’m back home. When I got back my boyfriend started fighting with me and dumped me then took me back then dumped me over text then took me back and said sorry and he loves me. He had listed all I do wrong. Then after a few weeks I again wasn’t acting as he wanted and he dumped me again. He wants to get back together again but I can’t handle the emotional roller coaster on top of the grief. I did join a grief support group where I can talk about my feelings and I’ve been really open with my friends about what I went through so not to keep things in. My pdoc added a new antidepressant because i Was a mess. I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks and couldn’t stop crying. I also have bad anxiety all the time. And I have to take my klonopin all the time. My dr said it’s ok to feel this way now. I just miss him so much and I want to be back in Wisconsin to help my stepmom but I have a life here. My mom is here and I have friends here. Some. Just any advice will help. Thank you.