Today's update. I have been saying I am doing well except for PTSD. Today I realised I have been downplaying the PTSD to myself. To be honest I am feeling incredibly trapped and overwhelmed. Non stop memories flood me so I dissociate unintentionally to cope. All this makes coping skills difficult as I disappear so fast. It is only getting worse, and I think this is only the beginning. Although stable with Bipolar finally I have now been hit with the effects of a lifetime of constant trauma. I just want it to go away and get on with my life but it is begging for attention and I can't seem to get out anyway. My T is helping me through this so I think I will be ok. It is just very difficult right now. I am hoping to get back to work soon once my hip recovers (I work on my feet moving around), but the anxiety I am experiencing may make returning difficult, especially since I haven't been to work since July last year.

Anyone else relate. Some of my trauma comes from the many times I have been hospitalised while very unwell. The rest is a list too long, and too sensitive, to describe.