The last two apartments I've lived in...you can't hear neighbors through the walls...which is good. Or from downstairs. But am bothered by noisy upstairs neighbor now with their snoring, yappy dog, and stomping at all hours. Loud enough it wakes me up at 3 a.m. I bang on the ceiling. A lot. I tried playing loud music but found it doesn't affect loud neighbors that much. I wear earplugs almost continually. They help but you need the heavy duty noise blocker kind.


It's not just apartment living. I owned a house and have rented houses and had neighbors who had loud sex, played loud music, and one time a couple had a big weekend long wedding at their house and by Monday the neighborhood was littered with empty champagne bottles and used condoms. Like all up and down the street where kids played. People's dogs were always escaping and some were big gnarly dogs and I had to bring my kid and friends inside while I called Animal Control.


It's humanity. It sucks. People are pretty inconsiderate.


I personally don't think online is a good place to make friends. I have had some nice friends online but they are never long lasting --- because if they were in other countries I knew we would never meet and eventually I got bored - not with the people so much as with a digital friendship. Like we couldn't ever go out for coffee or yoga class or hiking or play music and dance around...so being online with them only got boring. I have had online friends from all over the world. It's been interesting but they are more like penpals for a short time than friends.

Right now I am developing some new interests and will be looking to join some groups in the future. Do you have places where people game in real life in your town? My town has lots of those kinds of places. Right now I am low on friends and its lonely.


Usually when I feel the most needy and vulnerable is when I find myself lacking in real friends. After feeling sorry for myself I just get on with life and try not to worry about it. Then lo and behold when I feel more self-contained...people start showing up!


Good luck with the loud sex peeps. It's probably more the fault of bad construction in your apartment. This has been an ancient problem with apartments. I have lived in new apartments and old apartments and it's the same. I have lived in townhouses and detached houses and it's the same. I once knew a guy who took one room in his house and totally soundproofed it. At the time I thought it was weird but now I think it's a cool idea.

Good luck.