omg soli.. i dont know HOW i missed your post tuesday... i am so very sorry doll.. i feel like i let you down. i was in such a bad way...

the power struggle aspect bothers me... he's the dude with the degree in this... he has never dealt with a power struggle before? Has he found that being oppositional really helped? Did the patient back down and beg his forgiveness? grrrr

hmm.... im going to just toss out what occurs to me.. no offense intended or anything, just brainstorming ok?

think about this... if you could act in the opposite way that you act with him now... how would that look? what might you say differently? Can you switch chairs at all with his point of view? Can you at all imagine what his perspective is?

im nto suggesting you've been wrong in any way... i have no idea.. but i am throwing that stuff out as maybe a means of trying out new ways of looking at it... maybe in pretending that you have a different point of view.. perhaps you can find common ground..??

have you asked him specifically why he wont say the exact thing you want? what did he say?

im feeling frustrated for you... power struggles dont help a damn. He should know that. i dont think there can be 100% equality.. i mean if there were then why would you need him at all? But you shouldn't have to struggle with him over it... sometimes you should "win" too...

i am thinking soli... you have parental transference with him right? maybe you can think about your relationship and your H's relationship with your daughter (daughter yes?thinks hard..scratches head)... how do you or would you handle power struggles with her? Can you put yourself in the "child" standpoint?

its a tough call really... i mean you are NOT a child and he is NOT your parent... but in any ways the therapeutic relationship must function as such...no?

i hope you find some peace about this soon sweet pea.. you've had such a hard time. i am sorry i have not been the friend i should have been

much love