i cant believe its week 3 again. i cant wait for it to be over again. and it just started!!!

at work this morning went ok, even though i was very sleepy and not happy of being there at all. i super binged on chocolate and this afternoon was easy because our programs were not working so we basically had to take the calls and tell people we had issues with the program and to call again later. it was easier indeed but this way i got a lot more calls and it was quite stressing anyway. only 1 hour before the end of the shift the program started working again and it went ok. im happy when i get to finish working in time. but tomorrow will be hell!

at lunch i got to pay the bill through internet and tomorrow my dad will come to help me with something else.
tonight i really wanted to get drunk and i still want it but im trying to resist.

tomorrow i need to call the doc to get him write me the referral to do the blood work. i'll also have to wish happy bday to P and give him his small present (im worried and embarrassed about it!!!), wish happy bday to my online friend too and wish my friend good luck for a job interview. many things to do and remember to do. i have a list and it helps but im always worried i forget something.

on wed i need to go get the doc's referral, see T, go get gas for my car and then maybe my week will start to get easier. i didnt think it, but im realizing im being anxious and worried all the time when i need to do anything out of routine. my mind stresses me so much! maybe i'll drink a bit now. maybe i deserve it. maybe i need it. maybe i want it….