Thanks for your replies. I really struggled all weekend, self harmed again yesterday whilst on the ward and got discharged today. I didn't really care about being discharged, but one of the nurses on the ward advised me to contact my T as I was still struggling with flashbacks. So as soon as I left the ward, I called the psychologist's secretary and it seemed to really upset me, I guess it brought back the appointment as well as the flashbacks. Anyway, I broke down in tears (I haven't cried for many years even when I felt I needed to). I called the ward as I didn't want to walk through the hospital looking like I'd been sobbing, so just wanted to give my face a wash and look a bit more presentable. However, I was told that I was discharged so couldn't go back, not even to compose myself. My child part was most definitely present at this time, and really felt neglected and alone so I ended up having to walk through the hospital in floods of tears. It was awful. I never want to go back there!