Thanks everyone. I think the problem with toxic narcissists is that they really zoom in on us when we are at our most vulnerable.

If you read about narcissists...that's what they do. They look for someone who is weak or vulnerable but maybe also empathic.

Why did Tisha and I have these friendships that lasted for decades with repeated hoovering? Well, I can only speak for myself...that at first the hoovering isn't really seen for what it is. I mean...they are distant...then suddenly they show up.

I think this is a good lesson for those of you who are younger than Tisha and myself. Pay attention to your friendships. Don't let "old friends" treat you poorly because they think that have to right.

It happens. It can also happen with family members, co-workers, spiritual leaders, therapist, doctors, supervisors, and mentors.

I have spent the last few years eliminating a lot of toxic people from my life.

It is lonely and maybe...it leaves one more vulnerable...to those old sticky toxic friendships.