Thank you for your reply. These are good things to consider. I do find myself worrying that it is a form of abuse and control. My husband is very skinny and eats very little. He is a very picky eater and only eats for survival; very rarely for enjoyment. I wonder if and how that is connected to him watching women eat and gain weight in porn as well as wanting me to eat more than I need to and gain weight.

The worst part of it all is that I used to be so confident in myself. I managed to go through my entire teenage years without having self esteem issues or eating issues. Now I constantly worry if my body looks okay and if I should eat this or that. I see myself in photos and can’t believe how chunky I am.

I think you’re right about stepping back and really considering this before moving forward. I have let him have a little fun with it and played along in his fantasy, but I can’t keep up with this my whole life.

May I ask where you found your research about this? I have searched everywhere on the internet and can’t seem to find more information on the topic. Thanks!!