Quote:
Originally Posted by cptsdwhoa
Thank you for your kindness and for giving me much to ponder!
I realized, as I read the questions you suggested I ask myself, that I'm still so ashamed of myself. I'm still viewing myself as a fatally flawed being. I need to work on that I think. I believe that would help me to see, and I like how you phrased it, that I'm not a "mentally ill person" but just a person with strengths and needs. If I can overcome that I would be a long way towards acceptance.
I want to be able to stand up without shame and say, "Hi, my name is cptsdwhoa, and I am a work-in-progress."
Thank you SilverTrees. Your reply is so appreciated.
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I honestly felt fatally flawed for a long time, cptsdwhoa. The medical model told me at a very young age that I had a "chemical imbalance" that was "likely genetic" but the meds never helped me and often made me physically ill. So I realized I had to stop trying meds and then for years I felt broken and hopeless. My identity used to be: "I am a broken person with an incurable chronic mental illness." Now I'm just me. I have problems which include mental health concerns and I also have a lot of love and light to share.
You are not alone in your feelings. We have to be very, very careful about how we diagnose and label people....lasting effects can be really problematic. That said, if you can learn to think one way, you can also learn to think another way. How do you feel about mindfulness, meditation, daily gratitude, and holistic care? Those have helped me a great deal. I stepped out of the medical model (symptoms needing to be "fixed") and started learning about positive psychology and Traditional Chinese Medicine and natural methods for creating some joy each day. I highly recommend those methods for you. I truly believe that you can learn to think and feel differently about yourself.