Today was a bit of a rough day getting to work and not even wanting to go in while near panicking, but I did and made it through the day. Then went to therapy. My therapist wants me to try EMDR and I said okay, hoping it will help with my anxiety.

So I have mentioned my Lyme disease history a couple of times, not sure if I mentioned it took 4 years to get diagnosed while it was implied it was just anxiety or not taken seriously (honestly, I probably did mention this as it is on my mind lately). I have been diagnosed in the past with reactive arthritis and have had a lot of joint issues, but now when my recent blood tests came back negative I think my therapist thinks (and likely my rheumatologist) that is psychological in origin. Not denying that things like depression affect pain and fatigue, but for a number of reasons I think I still have legitimate joint issues. It makes me feel a bit like showing up to court without a lawyer or evidence trying to make your case. Good luck with that! So, just makes me feel like I have no voice. I know my therapist validates my experience, but with my history of not being believed when sick it kind of matters to me that she actually believes me. Yet, it makes total logical sense why she and others wouldn't especially with the psych diagnoses. Just a difficult and emotional situation for me. Anyways, end rant.

Sending well wishes to everyone!