My T and I have agreed that I can email him when I’m in distress with the knowledge that he won’t email me back. This is supposed to be because he wants us to have a relationship built on more than his responses to my distress... he doesn’t want my illness to be the mediator of our relationship. He has said that even though he believes in this practice, he often feels guilty not answering these messages. And sometimes he does respond to them (more so if they’re questions or thoughts rather than just desperate expressions of distress). But that intermittent response thing is just the worst—it leaves me kind of hoping he’ll respond and not sure if he will.

Ugh.