Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely
I think anyone who says you're "too old" for it is insensitive and doesn't understand how it works. I do think it may be more common in younger people simply because they haven't yet learned other coping mechanisms. But it's a matter of when you get help and if that help is effective, not age.
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I honestly think it's more that it's just less talked about (seen as taboo) within society - and even the psych field - when it comes to adults who SH. As a teen .. I was emotionally hurt over n over n over again - yet, I did not SH at all in my teens ... I internalized. I started SH when internalization no longer worked and the people around me showed in a variety of ways they did not want to "listen to my problems" or help me at all and I found my distractions no longer distracted .. many times bc I did not even care enough to try anymore. I started SH .. as warped as it sounds .. simply bc I still cared enough about me to want to survive and it was the only way I knew to be "heard". Stopping was much harder than starting though. Both bc I feared going back to being unheard (which I still mostly was other than when ppl saw my SH) and bc I did feel the cathartic effect. Yet - I knew I needed to stop bc it made me feel a mix of shame and of relief and victory ... but the shame kept growing more n more strong whilst the relief and victory grew weaker n weaker.
So .. convincing myself I truly needed to stop in those moments I was in my deepest emotional pain - was like trying to convince myself why it is better amputate vs continue try to heal an infected limb that is not responding to any treatment thus far. I simply held on to the "good" parts of it - and tried to push away the bad. I eventually had to decide which emotional pain was worse. The one causing me to SH or the shame I inflict upon myself when I SH. I decided the shame was worse and made a plan to help ... took several tries .. eventually I got to where I am now.
I do not believe the urges will ever completely go away. There will be long stretches I go without any urges. Then something happens - and they are back. Now I know how to handle them.
When I started SH - all I knew was the pain I was in and the isolation I felt.
I also believe that's why many teens turn to it..
I don't think it's something done out of ignorance, but just out of desparation for immediate release of emotional pain.