Quote:
Originally Posted by mattdadd
Yeah, I didn't mention gender because I'm aware that there are stereotypes which could sway people's answers. I just wanted a general answer that could apply to anyone.
Everything I've left out was deemed unimportant by me (eg. gender, age, sexuality), but I haven't left anything out due to a lack of trust. I mostly started this thread out of curiosity and caution. Since this is my first time dating, I'm unaware of the standards for what makes a good relationship. I had no idea if you needed to really like someone's appearance in order to date them. And in regards to sex (and my sexuality)... that wasn't really what I was inquiring about here. People just began asking questions and it came up; however, my original question was always referring to my S/O's appearance. I definitely could've worded things better.
I have only grown up seeing unhealthy relationships, so I have nothing in my life to go off of when it comes to this stuff. Reading the advice I received was very useful for me.
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Interesting post Mattdadd. As I said before, I have dated more than one person that I didn't find particularly handsome or physically attractive. But I did find their humor and personality very appealing and that led to sexual attraction over time. And I'm fairly sure that at least one person (if not more?) dated me while not physically attracted to me but we had a connection. I would not offer up a piece of info like that; nor would I ask. Telling them just sounds like it would cause unnecessary hurt. I don't see the value in telling someone that you don't find him handsome if in fact you are attracted to him in other ways. If there's zero attraction at all in any way, then I've said something like: "I had a wonderful time meeting you. I don't see this developing and I wish you all the best!" I don't comment on their looks.
I don't know if I'm explaining clearly but that's some of my experience. Also, I will admit my own personal bias that I am slightly suspicious of terribly handsome men and have no desire to date one. Sometimes they appear all too aware of their great looks and think a bit too highly of themselves. Though I admit my bias there....by sheer probability there have got to be some devilishly handsome men out there with good down-to-earth character. Hugh Jackman perhaps? He is happily married to a woman significantly older than him who does not meet the Hollywood standards of "gorgeous." Jimmy Fallon would be another example. There! Just proved myself wrong! Haha.