I completely understand what you mean, BirdDancer! I'm so sorry that you're struggling SO MUCH! i completely agree with what unaluna and SilverTrees have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given PLENTY of great, kind, wise and wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IF YOU WANT TO! I DO believe that you need to take care of yourself first and that that should be the priority! I'd suggest to just be honest to her and tell her that you're not feeling very well at the moment and that you'd prefer it to postpone it to another time and that you'll contact her back when you feel better! I'd suggest to just talk to her about ALL of this and see how it goes from there! Hopefully she'll listen to what you have to say and understand what you mean! That way you'll also have some time to better decide what you want to to and to take GREAT care of yourself with NO PRESSURE! I believe that'd be the best option if you can do that! Just try it tou and see how it goes! Hopefully she'll reply to you soon! You can always change your mind later after all! Please DO consider and please keep us updated about ALL of this, ok, my friend? Remember that WE DO CARE ABOUT YOU! We DO want to know how things are going for you and if things are getting ANY BETTER AT ALL and if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! I PROMISE YOU ALL FO THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Just take GREAT care of yourself, ok, my friend? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many hugs to you, BirdDancer, my altruistic, AWESOME, caring, dear, generous, gentle, kind, sensible, sweet, wise and WONDERFUL friend!