I listened to jazz music like an old fart. Bebop.

Contemporary things, fashions, music, I linked with self-abuse and abuse through others. I preferred staying at home, in peace, reading books, watching TV, listening to old music.

Probably I was never healthy enough to enjoy staying out late, drinking and stuff. I did it, but only to be with the ones I perceived as "cool", who were mostly just regular failures, but with the right kinds of jeans and boots.

I also consumed hashish in the wrong ways and much too early through peer pressure. Today I strongly believe I messed up my brain then. I wish I could have been left alone, I would have developed into something better and finer.

Or not.

But generally, I think joining "subcultures" is a form of weakness, and means subjugation to other "norms", not freedom.