T, you hit the attachment nerve. I don’t know if it was intentional or not but you hit it. I said I would appreciate a reply to my email but I didn’t say you had to and I know if I need a reply for sure I have to call. You have shown me connection in a way only you have been able to do. Now I want it and you control it. That’s why it isn’t safe to want. Now you have control over me. Now you can take it away. Now you can hurt me. Now I’m sad and scared. If you don’t read my email until just before session or you don’t reply I know you will expect a rupture between us... you’re not getting one. I hope you dont walk on egg shells about this, that would hurt me more. This sucks. My anxiety is crazy. Pdoc Friday. I know you are unsure about her too. You don’t like Pdocs you don’t understand she is like you, she doesn’t like Pdocs either and she isn’t a pill pusher... but she can help take the edge off the anxiety and help me sleep... but more importantly she can be there for me when you are out of town.
Hugs