It just comes down to the fact that I have this someone in my life. Before them, while optimistic, I never had hope. Recently, because of them, I find myself actually seeing a possible future that isn't doomed. It's so far, though, and I can't always see it. I just make myself wait to "see it one more time" and then it gives me a small breath to make it another hour. It's a daily struggle with me, so maybe speaking to hotline or anyone wouldn't really matter in the end. Every now and then, I just can't keep it all bottled and it comes out like it had the other day.