Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie
I agree with this advice. If you close one door and keep another open, you would be sending a mixed message to a narcissist. A lack of consistency may even be seen as a weakness by a narc.
If you (OP) want to let her down gently, you could set your FB status as "Social Media fast" and not log on for a while. If she doesn't get the instant gratification of getting to you, she may move on...
...but I can't guarantee it seeing Blanche's case above and given my own experience with a narc.
But why not give this a try, since it may be helpful for you to get a break from this person anyway.
You seem independent and I respect that you will make your own decision in the end. But I think other people's experience can be useful to keep in the back of your mind as a reference.
|
Thank you ennie.
I feel like you - DechanDawa- are giving your narcissist friend mixed messages by not being straightforward with her. That could come back to bite you in the end and cause you more emotional grief and pain than you deserve.
The rule of thumb with people is to always be direct with them, so they know what to expect from you. Even if they don't like the boundaries you put up, too bad. Those boundaries are for your own protection, DechanDawa.
It's hard to stand up to a friend you've known your whole life. But if you want her around, then you need to accept her for the way she treats you. If you don't accept her mistreatment of you, you owe it to yourself to hold her accountable. Otherwise if you don't hold her accountable, she'll think it's ok to continue to hurt you and mistreat you b/c you never speak up for yourself. I know it can be scary to confront someone who has a strong personality, but it comes down to who matters more to you: your toxic friend's feelings, or your own?