Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie
I agree with this advice. If you close one door and keep another open, you would be sending a mixed message to a narcissist. A lack of consistency may even be seen as a weakness by a narc.
If you (OP) want to let her down gently, you could set your FB status as "Social Media fast" and not log on for a while. If she doesn't get the instant gratification of getting to you, she may move on...
...but I can't guarantee it seeing Blanche's case above and given my own experience with a narc.
But why not give this a try, since it may be helpful for you to get a break from this person anyway.
You seem independent and I respect that you will make your own decision in the end. But I think other people's experience can be useful to keep in the back of your mind as a reference.
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I don't need to set my Facebook account on media fast. I use it as a business platform and don't post personal photos on it.
If this person wants to "like" political and social issue posts of mind...I have decided I really don't care. I always get a lot of likes and I am not going to mess with my FB account. Anyway, FB is so yesterday. I primarily use other social media outlets this person does not access.
After much soul searching I have decided to turn this thread on its head...and suggest that...when we have let narcissists get a foothold into our lives...it has nothing to do with them...and everything to do with us.
Other the years I was complacent about boundaries. I let things go. I allowed others to say things that were rude and offensive.
We have to ask ourselves...why we continue with such codependent patterns.
Real freedom comes from within.
I have effectively used the grey rock technique in the past. I am going to apply it now.
Obviously someone I have known from childhood and who is still in my hometown has many ways of hoovering. We know hundreds of the same people. Our lives our enmeshed. If I am stepping lightly around this I have my reasons.
I can't imagine ever having any connection with this person again. I am so done. Why should I continue to relate to someone who is rude, hurtful, and offensive? I am so over it.