I have gone back and forth on this especially since Ts passing. I thought about therapy a things like I can't wait to tell T or what would T want me to do. I felt I was never on s rollercoaster before. With therapy it seemed like I would finally be at a good place for a week but then my next appointment happened and we mixed things up again.

What I have also realized is that while I was not on a rollercoaster ride before I was always completely depressed, couldnt deal with motherhood so ready to walk out the door. I was a mess all the time. Since joining therapy I was able to be the mom I wanted, I have more confidence and no longer avoid things out of fear. I have s much healthier, larger network of friends. I am also learning that is okay to be vulnerable and take care of me. I know I would not have accomplished a lot of what I have with therapy.

I still have much work to be done in order to no longer have the traumatic hold on me but for me it us worth it