I too am sorrry you have had bad experiences. I had several before finding current T and this experience is very different.
The T I had before current T I knew from school where she had been a professor. There she was genuine, warm, caring... I never had a class with her and only a few occasions to talk/spend time with her but they were warm and delightful. I was SO excited when after being burned BAD by the last two T’s she agreed to take me on... then she was cold and distant, everything I tried to do in therapy was wrong and I was a bad client who just paid her for attention but didn’t want to heal...
It took me three years to find the courage (and to hit such a low) to find a T again. I scoured listings for days that turned into months... then I found current T’s web page. It both terrified me and gave me hope. It took another month to email him and had he not initiated the first call I never would have had the courage to go to the first session. He has been doing this for 30+ years so I kinda expected him to be burned out and methodical. Nothing of the sort. Yes, he is warm and kind and rarely judges. He was embarrassed last session by A potentially judge mental statement. He is genuinely empathetic. He always has an “agenda” when I show up but I usually run it off course and he goes wherever we go. Last week we played cards and for a moment he let his authentic (and slightly crude for him) competitive side out and was thankful that he was accepted as he is just as he accepts me as I am. But it was clear he wasn’t sure he would be accepted and he is genuine about that insecurity. We have worked together almost 6 months now. In that time I have gotten the courage to go back to my old Pdoc for help sleeping and just because she is awesome, truly connects and I missed her support. I have started advocating for myself more strongly in my marriage. I have been able to be more assertive in the need to get my son transitioned into a more structured setting for my safety. I have taken on a new hobby that is just for me when I had lost interest in all my other hobbies. I went out for an evening with a friend for the first time in 6 years. I am taking initiative to fix my situation or move on if things around me don’t change.

So... what is different about him? The connection is genuine and it was from session one, it wasn’t forced. Our overarching goal is for me to “be whole again”. Each session has time to discuss emotions from the previous week and a “mini-goal” or need to be met. He is not afraid to step out of the box or to invite me out of my comfort zone. He clearly explains his expectations both of me and of himself and encourages me to do the same. He has learned about several of the strong support people of my past (I don’t have any current ones yet) and brings them into session, surrounds me with them, reminds me of them and helps keep them ever present. This allows me to feel their support again as well as remember the traits I saw in them that attracted me to them so that I can find more people like them out here. There are always three “beings” in the room... me, him and what ever our goal is or what ever part of my story we are going to explore. He is emotionally beside me or slightly behind me supporting my interaction with the goal or the story he is never the answer or even tries to be.
Hope that helps.