Dear T: I evaluate relationships, even the oh-so-casual ones, so differently now that I understand them better. I don't want to be around anyone who lies to me, tries to use me, is unkind or takes potshots at me, or who bores me and acts like a victim. Like zero tolerance. I am proud of the kind of parent I am and the kind of partner and friend I have become. The people who don't measure up just don't matter. I'm just kind of done with all the superficial and the lack of reflection and those who seem to enjoy antagonizing or putting me down.