I couldn't get my walls to come down for session today. It feels awful. At some point, he said he wanted to connect with me but didn't know how. I started sobbing when we had about 5 minutes left because I couldn't get to that place of connection. I shared this feeling with him and he moved closer and we went over time, but I'm feeling very out of sorts and it's all my fault that I couldn't let those walls back down after I put them up yesterday. Our next session feels an impossibly long time away. He can't do a phone check-in this weekend either.