Hi Everyone,

It's very hard to find anyone online that has made the transition of being on SSDI to returning back to work full time and kept working and not returned to being on benefits. I've been on for more than 8 years and have been working a part time job for just about a year. I'm tired of being broke and feeling less than I would like to work full time again. But noone I know advises it - my parents or my therapist. I guess for fear that I may not get SSDI back if I let it go. It's very discouraging.

I suffer from recurrent MDD, ADHD, GAD and previous addiction history. I had psychosis for a long time when I first got on disability. But, since I've gotten sober and been in treatment for 5 years I'm like a different person. But, I suffer from such fatigue due to my illness and lack of focus that I can see when under pressure of trying to maintain full time employment that it could possibly lead me to using again. I also was never to maintain keeping one job for a long time - I jumped from job to job when I couldn't manage one I jumped to the next ( or if I got fired)

Getting back to the topic at hand- SSDI is doing a work CDR and I haven't heard back yet. I'm sick of feeling limited and not being able to do this or that because I'm scared to lose my benefits. I definitely need my medicare because I have a lot of ailments now - I think due to my mental illness and repeated trauma I suffered in the past.

I did only get divorced after a 2 years marriage not even 2 months ago after an abusive relationship. I go through periods where I feel pretty good and like I can accomplish alot but that can change by the day.

I don't know what to do - I want to get a second job and try out doing facials and stuff. I got my esthetician license years ago and haven't used it. But I'm scared especially because most people don't agree with me going back to work full time. I feel that if you can go back to work you should but I definitely can relate to the fear of losing benefits too. It gets on my nerves when people act like getting on SSDI or SSI is the end all and be all in life and their main goal in life is attaining these benefits. If you've applied 5 times and gotten denied time and after time - most likely they don't feel that you are sick enough to meet the criteria after 5 tries - maybe you are not (not applying to everyone but some people) When I applied it was the farthest thing from my mind but I was approved by like 3 months?? Do you know why?? Because I was completely out of my mind. I don't want to be one of those people that sucks off the system if not need to be but on the other hand I have overestimated my abilities in the past. I don't know what to do. If anyone can give me advice and tell me their stories I would greatly appreciate it. Have a great day!!