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Anonymous44076
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Question May 17, 2019 at 11:28 AM
 
I heard the following story and wonder what other women think about it...

A woman had a new job and one of her female colleagues repeatedly referred to her as "Skinny" and "Toothpick." She grew frustrated and began referring to said colleague as "Chunky." The other women on the team learned of this and were furious with her for calling a woman "chunky" and they emphasized that calling someone "skinny" is a compliment.

Here's my response to this:
particularly at work, it is best not to comment on anyone's body type in any way. I don't think "toothpick" is any less offensive than "chunky." To me, those are both pejoratives, drawing negative attention to a person's body type. I doubt that the woman using the term "skinny" or "toothpick" had good intentions, I think she was likely demonstrating her own bias or discomfort about a body that was different from hers. That said, it was equally not okay for the woman to retaliate with "chunky." Two wrongs don't make a right.

This story may sound inane or ridiculously juvenile but I have worked in more than one place with adult women who interact in this manner.

Thoughts? Do you comment on other women's (or men's) bodies or avoid it entirely? Do you perceive "skinny" as a compliment and "chunky" as an insult?

I worked with a colleague who was referred to as "thick" by another colleague. That colleague did actually mean it as a compliment....in her culture "thick" is a desirable quality in a female body. She was embarrassed to have hurt my other colleague and explained and apologized. She seemed genuine. Perhaps still problematic to comment on a person's body at all? Even with kind intentions?

On a lighter note, I once worked with a woman who looked me up and down one day and said "Oh honey! The things I would do with a body like yours!" She was a very kind and supportive woman and I just chuckled in response. But a comment like that could still go awry in the workplace, right? She also said this to me in front of a large group of other colleagues.....eeeek!

I think the main issue here is perhaps that we all need to stop comparing and judging and labeling each other's bodies. Do you agree or is that too restrictive? Does that mean nobody can get a nice compliment on their body anymore? I am curious about this.
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