Thanks amandalouise. This all makes sense. I think for many years I was not able or willing to "look" at my first attachment person and how that might have landed me where I am today. Reading about babies making healthy attachment bonds made me "feel" a little too much, so I avoided learning about it.

As a 45 year old woman now...I can start to look back and understand why things (like DID) developed and the purposes it served. I can also try to start cultivating a bit of compassion for why I am the way I am. I don't really want to look back and talk about my upbringing. But I love making "sense" out of the facts. And making sense of why I felt safe nowhere.

My last T was a bit punishing in her tone. (My perception.) So I thought all this time when she mentioned about my insecure attachment style that it was a failure on my part somehow. But now I see I just did the best I could with what I had...to survive.

FearLess47