Hello again, Dear Sinking.

I read over your messages from Week #3 and they make me feel so much....

I hope I can get this reply typed and sent across before the System kicks me out again (!)

First off - about the weed. I think you're right to be concerned about whether or not it might react with any of your medications. Pharmacists tend to be the most knowledgeable about these things, if you can ask one, or you might search the Net as well. There's lots of medical info out there as you probably know.

My love, I'm concerned that you would want to have a broken bone. I've had one (some!) and believe me you do not want that. I'm also concerned about how much you want to hurt yourself, even kill yourself. Whatever it is that has happened to you, it was not your fault. It does NOT mean that you are a miserable, worthless, LOSER. It means that whomever abused you is a miserable, worthless, LOSER.

I think I like your therapist's approach. I agree with your therapist that it is probably not the most wonderful thing for you to keep in contact with your abuser. However, of course I understand that this is totally your life, your business. Still it concerns me.

As to relationships, that has been a slow and painful learning process for me as well. What I'd want to say to you is that good, healthy, enduring relationships have to be based on truth and trustworthiness, whether it is with P or with anyone else. They have to be based on honesty and two-way caring communication. This is even true of sex, as I've found out! All of it is learning, compromising, caring.

I'll sign off now because I have to go have lunch - just saying I hope your new neighbors don't turn out to be too bad. Neighbors --Jeez!!!!!