Love this thread more and more @Sisabel, not that any of us are going through similar things, but because here we are in a semblance of connectness going through similar things.
You stated it so well about the fine line between being your sincere self and jumping through their hoops.

My hoops continuously change location at the drop of a hat. It[my work saga] drudges up memories of days past with my late stepdad who was notoriously often trying to 'catch me in that lie'.. He at least was honest enough with introspection to explain how and why he was that way with me. The honesty came out as he came to know that I wasn't a dishonest character. Dysfunctional for sure but some days it[work] feels like that. Somedays I'm reminded of other memories but gosh what a replay of a scenario for me. That whole hurt people, hurt people.

Funny that, we had a Be Kind week at work...I'm sure you don't need to ask if that standard was fully met?