Hello rqn12. So sorry you have experienced this with your on/off boyfriend.

Threatening suicide is a form of emotional abuse. It is NEVER okay including when someone is depressed. A suicide threat is not a sincere request for help but a tool to scare and manipulate another person in order to control them.
You are not responsible for another adult's mental health. That is his responsibility. If he ends his life, that is his choice and not your fault. His offensive comments to you were also abusive.

What is your current living situation? Do you live with him?

I recommend finding a kind and experienced therapist in order to share the specific barriers you see regarding separating from him. Abuse can affect a person's self-esteem and decision-making processes. There is no shame in the fact that you are struggling with this situation. It is not your fault and you do not deserve to be put down, repeatedly abandoned, and threatened with suicide.

May I ask why you only saw a psychologist once? There are so many personalities and approaches out there in the mental health field...perhaps you just need a different therapist? I had a great therapist when I left an abusive spouse....she really helped me to heal and move forward though the decision to leave was mine, not hers. Nobody else can determine that for you. There are also a lot of support groups and shelters for women who wish to leave abusive partners.

I wish you peace and hope. Remember that your present does not have to be your future. You deserve respect, kindness, and safety.