Opposite happened here: husband has been ill for years. I never make him feel like a burden, and I sure as hell respect him and don’t stoop so low as to call him names! That’s fighting dirty, clouds the communication, and builds resentment. Maybe remind him that you are a team. You are supposed to help build each other up, not tear each other down.

Ask him why he treats you so disrespectfully: how does that help you OR him? That sort of crap will weaken your relationship & make things worse. If cutting someone down is his strategy to make himself feel better, than he needs to grow up. It isn’t as though you PLANNED to be sick. The situation is to “ blame,” not you. You could remind him of this: and ask if he were ill instead, how would he feel if YOU treated him like he’s mistreated you?!

In our case, our finances were affected by several factors. It doesn’t help that we are both terrible money managers... Or were, anyway.

What we did is connect with a financial counselor of sorts. We’re given tasks/homework and then report back to her... She doesn’t take money from us because her office is run by the Federal Government. There are several choices for people in financial trouble...

Maybe instead of pointing fingers and name-calling, your husband could make himself useful and Google for one of these counselors in your area & make some calls.

Not sure if you live in Canada, but there is hopefully something similar where you live...
Debt Management & Financial Recovery Services | BDO Canada

Specific: Personal Debt
Consumer Debt Help & Debt Management Solutions | BDO Canada

Meanwhile:
- check if any of your accounts/credit cards/your mortgage have a contingency. We paid extra on our credit cards for payment coverage for when we are sick (or other reasons, like job loss, death, accident, etc). Check your bills or account to see if you pay a monthly premium for balance insurance/protection. There may also be insurance coverage through Life Insurance, or other systems for which you pay.

- print off copies of your last few moths statements for your bank/credit cards.

Take note of when large amounts are auto debited/paid automatically: then you can work out when you both need to hold off on something or when you can spend a bit.

Tally up 2 things for each month of the last three months: how much money does the household bring into the account and how much comes out every month.

When we did this, we found that for years we had ALWAYS spent more than we made. I already work full time, so my husband had to enlist more guitar students.

Find out: what is taking up the bulk of the money? Ordering food? Going out for meals? That was a big problem we had.

Make sure you recognize what the charges are. Are there any that repeat each month like a subscription? Stop the subscription.

Do you have any points cards? Can you redeem the points to purchase prescriptions or groceries? At one point we turned our Aeroplan Miles into drug store coupons.

Try using this app or a similar one: we have “Flipp.” It lets you search for groceries that are on sale. I had to drive to three stores but I saved beaucoup bucks!

- Enlist your husband to cook meals (my husband loves the BBQ, loves making breakfast.) Meals don’t have to be fancy or complicated. Make extra for leftovers. Instead of ordering Chinese food, try going to your grocery store and grabbing Chinese food from the Deli.

- Coupons coupons coupons!

- Like to garden? How about a vegetable garden? Does your husband or do any relatives/friends hunt?

I hope some or one of these ideas work for you!!!