I really appreciate the wise and practical advice that people have shared in this thread. There are places to reach out for help and I would encourage you to consider doing every one. And, to some extent, relaxing because missing one mortgage payment doesn't allow them to foreclose on your house, and you can stay in your house without paying for it for some period of months (even years) even if you don't attempt to resolve it before then. You may be eligible for bankruptcy to discharge medical and/or student loan debts, and or credit card debt. Does your T take credit cars? Can you get a cash advance to pay for it? I would encourage you to go.

Otherwise, I will name the elephant in the room. You are being emotionally, verbally, and/or psychologically abused. Words tear people apart as surely as fists or whatever leave bruises. You may minimize it by saying he doesn't mean it, but this is verbal abuse and it is harmful to your personhood and I would encourage you to seek assistance at your local domestic violence organization. Not only do they have free counseling and/or support groups, but they may also know of programs that can help you financially or individuals who may be able to help. You don't have to stay at the shelter or leave your marriage, but they are a place for help you could access.