My son is autistic and has separation anxiety. He also doesn't cope with change at all, which is why we need to sort all this out in advance. Partner and son are very close (bio dad isn't around at all and never has been)- son calls him dad. As son is almost 13 I can't do anything but call an ambulance if he has a meltdown and becomes physical, which is the last thing I want to do.
Partner has already discussed transport with his friend as I made it very clear that my car is off limits, although partner never assumed he'd have use of it, it was all his friend's assumption. It's not even driveable now anyway (I hit a kangaroo and the car may be a complete write off) but I'm still incredibly pissed off that his friend has been so completely inconsiderate of any of us.

Partner is trying to get information but his friend just keeps coming up with reasons why he doesn't have the info or can't give it, and it all just seems like a bunch of excuses.
Despite how rude the friend has been I do actually want partner to go; this is his best friend's wedding! But I cannot ignore the effect partner being gone for 2nights/3days will have on my son, and the very real safety issue that then becomes if we can't plan as much as possible. And I really don't think telling someone what time your ceremony and reception are is that big an ask, that info is typically included on an invitation anyway! Partner has even said he needs to organise times to call son and that we don't want to interrupt their wedding, but still just a "we're playing it by ear". So how exactly is everyone else supposed to know where to be and when? 🤔