Thank you all for the advice and support. This might be a bit long because I’m going to respond to each one of you here:
@WarmFuzzySocks and @LonesomeTonight I actually just thought about getting some assistance for food yesterday. I’m not sure why it’s never occurred to me before that we would qualify for this. I’m kind of nervous to apply for snap/go to a food pantry or something. I know logically I shouldn’t feel ashamed, but I just remember being in high school getting free lunch due to being broke and just the awful feelings that came with it. I mean that won’t prevent me from trying to get help when it truly comes to that, but it just sucks I guess.

Also @WarmFuzzySocks, looking for help through a church is a good idea. We attend super irregularly though so I don’t think they’d even know who we are, but they might still have resources.
@H011yHawkJ311yBean those are a lot of great ideas you shared, thank you. As for the name-calling and stuff, we did have a conversation about it last night, I asked him if he actually though I am those things, and he said “no, but I think you act those ways some times.” Fair enough.
Unfortunately I am in the U.S., but I can still looks up similar programs! We also added up all of expenses and income 2 days ago and yikes. Expenses are double income atm. There a couple subscriptions we could cut out like Netflix and Hulu, which I suggested a few days ago, but my h doesn’t wanna do that because he says those aren’t the big bills.. to which I countered that every little thing adds up. Everything else though is stuff we have to pay for like utilities, car insurance, credit card minimum payments, etc.
@sarahsweets this is a good idea but unfortunately we don’t qualify for anything right now because our debt to income ratio is awful. If one of us lands a job though, that could change. Fingers crossed [emoji1696]
I actually did try telling him last night that I felt he was blaming me for all the debt. I told him I already feel super guilty that I put us in this situation, and I don’t really need to be reminded of it by him so frequently. Thank you for validating that it’s ok for me to feel that way.
@SalingerEsme I have this feeling that if my T can’t bill through my EAP, he might offer to waive my copay, as he did that for me for a session just a few weeks ago. I felt super guilty just for that one session though, so if he did offer something similar idk if I could accept again. And who knows if he will offer. I’d have to at least talk to him about the guilt first to even consider it. I don’t want to take advantage of his kindness.
@Anne2.0 while we would be able to live with missing payments if we really had to, we had a close relative co-sign when we purchased our house, so we can’t let this affect them. That’s why we’re so concerned about not being late for any payments.
Also, do you really perceive this as emotional abuse? I don’t mean that question in defensive or judgmental way, just seriously curious and surprised. I don’t think of him as abusive, I just think he has trouble expressing anger and frustration. He admits to this himself. I mean he’s never anything near violent. And the name-calling is only after I actually do mess up, and even then, stupid, dumb, and selfish is the worst it gets. That’s not to say I think it’s right that he does it, but it’s not like it’s out of nowhere or he doesn’t realize he could handle his anger better, if that makes sense?