May 18, 2019 at 10:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
Is there something that you would have found comforting? Could you ask the therapist to do it?
This may just be me, but it was a good thing for me to not have to endure someone trying to be comforting at me when in reality there was nothing anyone could have actively done that I would have found comforting at that time. I was annoyed at others who were trying to be comforting to me but since the others were my friends, I couldn't (or didn't want to because I knew they were trying to be kind) snap at them - I just endured it. With the therapist, I did not have to endure that at least.
I am sorry you and your husband are facing this.
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You know......I do not want comforting from anyone except my T. I think about who I would want to be there to sit with me. No one. I have zero connection with anyone and honestly would just be annoyed at others around me telling me what to do. What I would like is someone to come over and cook or clean or sit with him if he wants. I have always been taking care of myself with no help from family or friends. My husband and I have been through trials and tribulations with zero help. 4 moves, car accidents, surgeries, job losses.
This is the first time I ever felt like I wanted to be comforted by someone and unfortunately the person I want it from is my T.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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