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Originally Posted by SummerTime12
Also, do you really perceive this as emotional abuse? I don’t mean that question in defensive or judgmental way, just seriously curious and surprised. I don’t think of him as abusive, I just think he has trouble expressing anger and frustration. He admits to this himself. I mean he’s never anything near violent. And the name-calling is only after I actually do mess up, and even then, stupid, dumb, and selfish is the worst it gets. That’s not to say I think it’s right that he does it, but it’s not like it’s out of nowhere or he doesn’t realize he could handle his anger better, if that makes sense?
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Summer, I'll chime in. It's abusive behavior.
It doesn't matter whether you made a mistake, real or perceived. It doesn't matter what his intention is. It doesn't matter that he doesn't use other skills to deal with his anger, whether he's capable of accessing those skills or not, and whether he realizes he could handle things differently or not.
You deserve respect and partnership. He does not have a right to target you when he is angry. Period.