Quote:
Originally Posted by Foreign_Soul
It's not my place to "decide" this for my partner. I've told him what I would do in the situation (there is other information, which I won't share, which makes it very clear that the bride doesn't want him there) but at the end of the day this is his friend and it's his decision.
Thanks to the groom's sister we have actual times now, so we're able to organise times for phone calls, which is all I wanted to begin with.
Partner is still feeling very left out and I've encouraged him to talk to his friend about it, but I can't do more than that.
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I am glad that you were able to get the timing info though I'm sorry it took so much effort and stress to get it. Bravo for honoring your partner's boundaries in a complicated situation....that will serve your relationship well in future times
As for the friends and the feelings you and your partner have....perhaps those could be addressed at a later point when the dust has settled so to speak? So much going on prior to a wedding...tension and stress....may not be an easy time for your other half to have helpful discourse with his friend. Just a thought for you both. From what I gather, the bride and groom have been very disrespectful toward yourself and your partner. It's always important to remember that when we love and honor a friend, we need to also respect their partner. Disrespecting the partner is also a mark of disrespect for one's friend. We certainly don't have to love our friends' partners but we must respect them. I would say, if your partner wants to go to the wedding he could perhaps just keep a low profile and ride it out. After the wedding is over, maybe he can take some time to think about the relationships with his friends and decide whether he wants to have a discussion or just draw a line and move on. For what it's worth, in my opinion, the lengths they (bride or groom or both) have gone to in order to exclude and avoid and forget basic decorum and manners would make me think that these are friendships one would be better off without. Perhaps friendship is not even an accurate term at this point?
That said, I do not live in your thoughts and feelings or those of your partner. So of course I cannot determine what is best for you folks. You'll both know what to do when the time is right. You have my support.