Silver trees, I loved you list of kindnesses one can do for someone.
I would only like to comment on the smoking issue. I did not intervene when my husband smoked until he was 50-WITH DIABETES. That proved to be a gargantuan mistake when he developed a heart condition and down the line, other extensive vascular problems. I did finally get him on Chantix and he stopped. And no that wasn’t my responsibility, but we are so inter-related with a spouse that we are going to suffer the consequences anyway, so I think its better to face the reality of the situation when it comes to smoking. It’s always better to use rewards, rather than endless nagging.