I absolutely do not abuse Ritalin. I have ADD and the days I take it, it makes me being able to start and go through with projects, just as the med is intended for.

I'm probably very low on dopamin without, because I don't really seem to have much of a reward system. People feel rewarded by a thing well done, or from candy or a good movie. I really never had that. Even when I'm not depressed, the world is never really warm and nice, and people aren't either.

So I kind of wonder about people who seem fairly happy, they are motivated but also they can be a lot happier than I can. So I'm sort of wondering if I just reach up to how they feel... When I take the med I also feel better about other people around me.

I've basically stopped the med because I feel it makes my feelings fake. Maybe these days once in a month.

I take 5 mgs. Sometimes I need to take a second time because I take IR, and then I take 10 mg in one day. I basically never met anyone who's on that little.

I still have this feeling that the pills take me to places most people never go, if that is the case, no one can feel truly happy without pills.