It seems so natural for you to keep struggling with writing email to your T, and not getting a response. It is a tough challenge to open up, and then feel snubbed, but even more confusing that he shows he reads your email thoroughly. His message is cloudy(?).

For sure, once it becomes this much of a flashpoint/ trigger, there is hardly any way for him to soften or back down . I wonder if he wishes he hadn't taken that stand?

Therapy is confusing. It feels so very strange to have someone be at once intimate and also setting drastic limits on intimacy within the same relationship and simultaneously. Therapy is like that quotation about genius being holding two opposing ideas in mind at the same time. You're supposed to say everything and anything; you're supposed to limit this to your 45 minutes. It is precarious once there is serious boundary negotiation, and feelings can get hurt.

The email issue is so difficult bc therapists vary so much in how they tackle the topic. To me, it is a bit precious to feel above responding to your clients. In both of my different careers, answering email promptly and thoughtfully was/is a must. When I taught high school, the rule for replying to parents was within 24 hours but strongly suggesting 8 hours. In my job now, I set aside about two hours a day for responding to communications from clients. T's are much more crucial than my role, so it seems like your T should be able to be responsive and attentive to you, especially as you feel consistently pushed away when you reach out.

Maybe it is a whole cloth policy he broke for you at first? Could he be worried about HIPPA/ being sued or quoted etc? Is he trained in a highly specific way? He might not tell you his real reason? Maybe he has a deal with his wife no work after work or a sick kid- could be anything . Is his practice super-full?

My T is very wedded to many parts of the therapy frame, and he definitely will not budge . He is empathetic to a point, but there is just no way that will affect what he does. I get so so sad that he will boot me out in tears at 45 minutes even if he pushed me very hard . There is nothing I could say or do to make him go over time ( that would not have severe consequences) . He trusts his training, and that it is important for both of us that he is reliable with time. Like you say about email, it isn't a deal breaker but it bothers me. It would become a deal breaker if he spent 70 minutes with other clients though. It hinges on my belief it is his theory of practice.