What type of affirmation do you seek from other women? Verbal? Visual? Physical? Emotional?

I recommend talking to an experienced therapist about this need. it comes across to me in your post as possibly a compulsion or addiction....does that sound accurate? I think you would benefit from professional support.

"Male desires for more" are fine provided that the male in question did not promise to be faithful to a monogamous partner as in marriage.

Finding other ways to deal with feelings of inadequacy will likely take time and guidance. I don't think that can be resolved quickly or simply.

Have you and your wife tried sharing with a marriage counselor?

I wish you and your wife peace and hope. Your present does not have to be your future.