Quote:
Originally Posted by Mopey
Originally posted by Missbella:
It did NOT teach me more social ease or a sense of competence or equality, in fact, just the opposite. Relating to others like I did therapists--expecting comfort for all my suffering and sorrows--did not make me a friend magnet. For a while I lived in a therapy pseudo-world and lost important friends during that period.
MissBella, reading over all of the posts on this thread I came upon this of yours and it reminded me of something that happened with me. I too suffered socially, and years of therapy did little to help me. You know what did? Reading an etiquette book. And paying attention to how people in real life in my area interacted with each other.
I found out I simply I grew up without knowing any of the rules. I did't know any social norms, the ones that ease interaction between strangers and acquaintances. As a result I made many painful mistakes, without meaning to.
Just a thought.
Wishing you well..... 
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Mopey, thanks. I might have had a parallel but different problem around social norms. I had the etiquette component, being seal-trained both by school and parents to be very, very polite.
However, I could barely function as an adult,much less a respected person in the workplace who could stand my ground, hold opinions and be aggressive when necessary. I saw opportunities and praise go to those likely less (or equally) qualified, but bolder.
Unfortunately my regressive relationships with my therapists left me more self-pitying and enfeebled.
As you describe, I made changes observing other people. I've tried to emulate some traits of more successful people, modifying for my own temperament and style. I'll never be the most swaggering person in the room, but I can be confident in my contributions.