I'm taking my meds as prescribed. This is not ok. I'm still depressed. I still want to die. I'm not very safe. But, I can't cry any more? Really. I can't. This level of pain is beyond ok for me. I watched a very sad video and I'm still dry-eyed. I'm not able to laugh genuinely either. Maybe this is the combination of meds I need? To be empty? Devoid of feelings other than this deep, dank, hatred of self that festers like an open battlefield wound? I'm also having a LOT of anxiety attacks, which go untreated. I feel anxious at a ten of ten all the time. It's like life can't get over fast enough.