so you are saying only posts that are bubbly, and have rainbows and butterflies should be allowed here? isn't this a place with open forums so that everyone who is a member can respond? I don't respond all bubbly, and rainbowy. not my style...not in my life, not in my writing. i'll support you in the best way I know possible...you may not like the way I do it but that's the way I am.

if everyone here posts the exact same way with the exact same response then why even bother having open forums? what's the point? where is the discussion? if you are mature enough to join a site with open forums and then post, you should be aware that you will get a varied set of responses. some you will like , some not. just as in real life.

is the OP wanting to hear such things? who knows. really. some posts are so convoluted you have no idea what they really want to hear. they take so many turns that you can barely keep up. other times it seems that no response is the right one. if you are saying we should only guess what the poster wants to hear & then say that, then how exactly does that help? we are just pandering to them. conversations are usually 2 way streets sometimes with potholes.

I rarely sugar coat things...if you ask my opinion I am going to share it. if there is a problem I will do be best to come up with a solution. but if I think you are part of the problem I will let you know as well.

everyone here has some form of mental illness...it makes responding to posts somewhat of a challenge. people get triggered..sometimes for no apparent reason...sometimes just because you aren't rainbowy..and because of that you are blocked. sometimes because they themselves might not know what they want from their original post's direction and regardless of what is posted by everyone the post will never measure up. sometimes there no reasons at all. it just is.

to say no "tough love" would be permitted here is wrong..because who is anyone here to say what type of response is acceptable, and what type of response is appropriate. again, to have a blanket statement would negate the purpose of an open forum. also, everyone here is an individual that brings their own set of history, responses, etc to the table.

I don't do tough love..not my goal. I do me....and I posted about this a few weeks ago....and actually I got bullied about it. how dare I not be "nice"..and people suggested I read posts to "learn" how to respond, learn how to be supportive, it got ugly fast. some folks said that "geez I wasn't so bad and did have some sort of good stuff inside me after they had read my posts" well I feel so much better after your validation. college educated, lots of friends, done well in life....pretty good at being nice, but when it comes to problem solving I take a different approach other then rainbows, and balloons. my career required me to problem solve..take the issue, break it down & then assemble it. solve the problem. that is how I look at things. don't need a lesson in nice, or reading others posts. thank you.

be careful of what you wish for...a space where everyone thinks & speaks the same mantra while it may feel safe isn't always. diversity should always be welcome..a little pain due to exposure helps you grow.