I thought the term ‘’tough love” meant something like not enabling an addict by making it easy for them to hurt themselves. For example; stopping financial support from the parent to the child when the child is using the money to hurt themselves with substance. Thank you for posting the definition which confirmed my thoughts.

I’ve had people close to me telling me they were ‘only giving me tough love’ when they were just being abusive. They were verbally assaulting me because they were trying to control me to do what they wanted me to do. It wasn’t a matter of I was making choices that were hurting my very existence. I just was not choosing to do as they wanted me to do. I have also been cut off financially for the very same reason. It was tough love! What a joke!

As you can see, I find the very term triggering.

I have consciously never punished someone and had the nerve to call it tough love. I may have told someone off. I never lied by saying it’s because I love them. It was because I was hurt by them and very angry. Let’s just call it what it is.

Oh, wait, and let’s not forget... giving me the silent treatment for any slight and calling it ‘tough love’! (Bangs head in wall...)