I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much, NotSoKnowitall! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! I completely agree with them that you should be reaching to a professional as soon as you can to discuss these issues that you're experiencing! I'd suggest to talk to a therapist about ALL of this and see how it goes from there! Hopefully you'll be able to work through ALL OF THIS! I hope you'll be able to save your marriage! Just let your wife know that you're trying YOUR BEST to get better and to solve this problem and that you DO WANT to GET BETTER! I'm sure she'll understand if you just talk to her about ALL OF THIS and see how it goes from there! .throb: Wish you GOOD LUCK with your JOURNEY! Let us know how things are going for you! We DO want to know how things are going for you and if things are getting ANY BETTER for you and your wife and if there's ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to BOTH HELP YOU! JUST LET US KNOW, OK? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU HERE! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH YOU AND YOUR WIFE, NotSoKnowitall!