Thanks for posting this video talk ennie. When watching it I could actually see how this is exactly what my older sister does with me. That is a very long toxic saga around both my parents and my sister's obsessive and toxic control over them right up to both their very last breaths and even funerals. Watching that video definitely hit some red flags that I have experienced from my older sister.

I found it very validating in how this psychologist talked about how important it is to break ties and distance. This past Saturday was my mother's funeral service that I knew was all about my older sister and HER drama. I chose not to go and that was so hard but I can no longer expose myself to my sister's toxicisity. My feelings are not important either, that much my sister consistently has said in so many toxic ways now. This would have been ALL ABOUT HER and HER feelings and simply no longer wish to expose myself to that kind of person.

Yes, these toxic individuals DO use what you care about to hurt you and control you too.