Quote:
Originally Posted by romantic rose
I don't see why not having kids is selfish at all, men are not seen as selfish for not wanting them. If I had been a mum it would have been a disaster, always knew I was not cut out for it. It would have been worse for me to have kids just because others thought I should, and harm them by neglecting them.
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Your points are well made Romantic Rose. I think when there's an odd and illogical notion in society which seems to spread and get presented as a norm or fact ("women who opt not to have children are selfish") it is worth exploring where the idea is coming from. A lot of what happens in our world is driven by money, right? Commercialism and materialism are real and strong forces. Who can you sell more products and services to: a woman who plans to marry and have four children or a woman who remains single and does not have any children? Woman A can be a sales target for: expensive engagement ring, wedding ring, bridal shower, huge cost of a lavish wedding, honeymoon trip, mortgage, cost of filling a house with furniture, pregnancy planning software or fertility treatment (IVF Market Size Worth predicted to be $36.2 Billion by 2026) pre-natal care, delivery cost (x4), baby shower, "babymoon" trip, baby products and clothes etc etc
Now come up with a marketable list for woman B - there's no wedding and no babies.....that knocks an awful lot of things off the list, right? Have you noticed that in general in society it's considered "weird" or "wrong" to be single for life.....as of 2013 the wedding industry was worth $53 billion in the United States. For PC friends in the U.K, the average cost of a UK wedding in 2018 was £30,355 – up 12 per cent from 2017. Money, money, money....it's so funny in a rich man's world
So that's the large scale pressure....to me it's all about selling people things.
On a personal, individual level.....humans tend to denigrate lifestyles which are different from theirs. So some men and women who marry and procreate can be quite disparaging of those who don't. As a species we are still quite black-and-white thinkers.
And that's just one example. New mothers get judged for everything. I mean EVERYTHING! I listen to their stories. I was reading that it is still considered socially acceptable to shame mama bears who don't breastfeed their babies.
And that has nothing to do with selling things because obviously breastfeeding costs $0 but that doesn't mean it's the right or easy option for every mama bear. This even happens with some nurses and docs. Not to mention the women on social media judging every other woman's choices.