Negative symptoms..*

I'm tripping from weed. I got interested in what a user said about smoking it. People do smoke it for certain reasons. Again, in time, and again.

I'm wondering what could bring me into psychosis and what tasks I should perform to prevent it? I'm going to read over my CBT therapy papers later. I wonder what magic my therapist knows and what she can teach me as it is CBT in relation to psychosis. That was the title. I guess certain people just get freaked out by certain thoughts naturally so they need antipsychotics but some can smoke weed without getting freaked out so that's why I feel like I have a chance.

What I write becomes real sometimes. But the whole universe is just random. Unless you give in to the pain and emotions which turn them into realness.

I get strong messages when I listen to music. There's certain symptoms that form energies to create disorders and such. Because disorders are just pictures of people that psychiatrists, mental patients and the public get collected in their minds, in certain orders. So everyone has a different idea of what schizophrenia or bipolar is for example.

Yet schizophrenia remains an interest for psychiatrists and doctors. Why? Are they interested in reality too and losing touch with it? Or do they actually want to help the patients? Some do.. I notice all of my psychiatrists except my current one actually cares. She feels empathy. The other doctors were more about EGO.

Ego and empathy. When the ego is dissolved, you see empathy. And that is why my current psychiatrist is the most concerned. Just like my mom and sister. Because they have empathy. My dad has empathy but he's more masculine so he ignores it or is out of touch with it. Psychosis and other tragic things are concerning for people with empathy. The world needs more empathy.. but the ones that do are considered to be insane, creative and innovative.

That is why I want to lower my injection. Because I can handle slight psychosis. I believe it makes me in touch of something that really identifies with my need for a better more real mind. A more beautiful mind.