I would say that if prostitution were legal in New York, you would have a much easier time because there would be an outlet for you. Where are you from? Do you here write just to express yourself unilaterally or do you ideally want a dialogue with others? What was the point of overcoming what you call your porn addiction - were you not having a life outside porn? Your writing is odd at times - thinking that the female tenant is thinking of the money you will inherit as the son of the land owner is very odd, considering the current life expectancy in New York. When you do aren't thinking of sex, what are you thinking of? Are you in treatment with a psychiatrist and/or therapist?