Hello Spikes. Sorry you are struggling. I live with unipolar depression rather than bipolar but want to offer my support and a couple of thoughts. It can be problematic to ask/compare yourself to other people's mental health trajectories. I have met plenty of folks with unipolar who said nothing worked for them and it remained severe throughout their lifetime. However, my very worst period was when I was age ~14 to 18. I am now in my late 30s and doing much better. I still have problems and I'm planning to do more therapy but I never feel as bad as I did back then. And I don't take meds because they never worked for me whereas other people find relief from them. Every brain is unique therefore every trajectory varies.

I think the most important piece is to find a provider you trust and follow their guidance as best you can. Also continue to develop friendships and activities for yourself....as a person and not a "patient." Use the medical model for what you need but try not to let it define you....consider ways of honoring body, mind, and spirit...whatever feels meaningful to you. A holistic approach to my health (mental and physical) has helped a great deal.

I completely understand why you would want to make predictions but I think that can be dangerous. If you read about self-fulfilling prophecy, it really can happen. The research also suggests that optimism can have major and positive effects on health. I'm not at all suggesting that you can simply think your psychosis away (of course not) but in addition to your treatment, telling yourself that you will continue to improve and gain balance could be really helpful for your future health. On the other hand, telling yourself that you will probably feel worse as you age could in fact increase the likelihood of feeling worse later, if you see what I mean.

These are just my thoughts from a place of care and regard. You don't have to agree. I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future